


High School Sucks

by Christian_the_bluefrog



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Bi Sam, High School, M/M, Mental Abuse, Military John Winchester, Out and Proud Cas, Physical Abuse, Shy Dean
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-08
Updated: 2018-05-21
Packaged: 2019-05-03 20:25:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 19,938
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14576961
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Christian_the_bluefrog/pseuds/Christian_the_bluefrog
Summary: Sam and Dean Winchester has just changed schools for the second time this year, making it the fourth high school since Dean started. Their Dad, John is a high ranking officer in the Army who is transferred often from base to base. Dean, a shy quiet guy, is a Junior and Sam a likable friendly dude, is a sophomore. Dean knows this school is going to be just as crappy as all the others, but maybe Castiel Novak, the out and proud leader of the LGBT group could change his mind.





	1. A New School..... Again

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Emily King and Daniel Gulbrandsen](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Emily+King+and+Daniel+Gulbrandsen).



> This story is in Dean POV, it’s the second fanfic I’ve ever written so let me know how you like it. I can never get enough feedback. There are suicidal tendencies and thoughts mentioned.

Dean grabed his backpack and waited for everyone else to shimmy off the bus before he slid out of his seat.

“Hey, this time it’ll be different. Dad swore that this was the last base he’d be transferred to until I’m out of high school.” Sam said as the boys walked towards the school entrance.

“Sure.” Dean huffed as he followed Sam to the front office.

“Sam and Dean Winchester, we’re new.” Sam smiled at the middle age man behind the desk. He shuffled through some papers.

“Ah, here we go.” He handed them each two papers.

“Dean Winchester, eleventh grade. Here is your map, your class room locations are circled in red. You have B lunch. There are seven minutes between classes, warning bell is at the five minute mark. Your locker is 138, circled in blue. Questions?” 

Dean shook his head and the man turned to Sam. Dean studied his map making note of some of the things being said to Sam. A Lunch. Shit, locker 141, better. When they were done they had fifteen minutes before first bell. 

The boys walked quickly through the crowd to get to their lockers. This school was weirdly laid out. There was a rectangle building the surrounded the rest of the school, which consisted of four long buildings and an outside courtyard to eat lunch and hang out before school. 

It wasn’t very hard to find their lockers and Dean was pleased to find he had a top locker.

“Let’s see where you’re headed from here.” Sam held out his hand waiting for Dean to handover his schedule. Reluctantly he did.

“P.E. That’s not so bad. Get it out of the way early.”

“I guess.” Dean took the paper back, folded it, and stuffed it in his pocket as the first bell rang. He grabbed his gym bag, containing a school T-shirt, red gym shorts, a towel and deodorant. Sam waved and started off towards A.P. History. 

Dean found the locker room fairly easily. A paper sign taped under the bold ‘Men’s room’ lettering. 

'Ten minutes changing time; showers are mandatory after class.'

Shit. He shoved the door open and found a row of lockers, top, middle, and lower. He was early, thank god. 

As he started stripping the green polo shirt off, a group of boys came strutting through the door; jocks. He continued to change as more boys entered. As soon as he was finished he spun around to leave but something caught his eye. There were three boys standing around another guy who looked scared shitless.

“Too bad you’re girlfriend can’t fight your battles in here.” The tallest of the guys laughed.

“Your lucky I don’t hit girls, but I got no problem pounding on you.” The larger one on the left spoke. Dean wanted to step in but he couldn’t take on three guys. 

Suddenly this 6’2, muscular dude with short black hair shoved the tallest bully aside allowing the red head being bullied to slip out of harms way.

“How about you pick on someone your own size?” The new guy said leaning his shoulder on the red lockers.

“Castiel, hanging out in the boys locker room? Pretty sure that could be seen as sexual harassment.”

“Switched classes, jerkwad, and I could do so much better then you, Eric. ” He raised his voice during the last portion of the sentence. 

The two guys in the back took off to change, but Eric squared his shoulders and huffed under his breath.

“This isn’t over Novak.” He turned and Castiel fluttered his fingers in a goodbye wave, then turned his attention to Dean, who hadn’t realized he’d been staring. 

Dean took off. He found the gym and lined up on the red lines like a bunch of other guys were. The other line was filled with girls talking quietly.

“Alright, Monday, which means laps or basketball. If you ain’t playing I suggest you start walking.” The muscular women with short brown hair blew her whistle and Dean followed a few guys who started walking the perimeter of the gym. 

He made sure to give them a head start so he could walk alone. A little more then half the class including the bullies started a basket ball game, a group of five girls started playing HORSE. Castiel was jogging laps he passed Dean three times but on the fourth he stopped and walked at his pace.  
“Hey, you new?” He asked in his normal voice.

“Yeah.”

“Where you from?”

“Kansas.”

“What brings you to Florida?”

“My dad’s job.”

“Strong silent type, cool.”

“Look I’m not exactly looking for friends. It’s not like I’ll be here long.” Dean huffed.

“Everyone needs friends dude. Especially in a new place, I moved around a lot when I was younger.”

“Yeah?” Dean faked his interest, maybe if he played along this would be over quicker.

“Yeah. My Dad use to use us, my mom and I, as punching bags. So she’d move us every time he’d find us. Eventually he got himself locked up so we settled here.”

“Shit, I’m sorry.”

“I’ve dealt with it.”

“That’s kind of a lot to put out there to someone you don’t know.”

“Yeah it is. But ya know I’ve met a lot of people and you look like you need a friend. So it’s just my way of saying I’m here to talk and I’ll be around if you change your mind about this friend thing.” Dean nodded and Castiel took off jogging again.

Dean walked alone the rest of the time and when the coach blew the whistle to change, Dean swiftly walked to the locker room. He grabbed his towel and took the shower stall at the very end. 

At least this shower had a curtain, unlike his last school. The walls on the side were higher too. He fished up and got dressed.

Math, Science, and Social studies went smoothly by and Creative writing was next, it was one of the only electives they had an opening in, the other was Drama his last period. He took a seat in the back of the room as the bell rang.

“Good afternoon class, please start your warm up paragraph. Dean Winchester, would you please see me at my desk?” The younger female teacher asked. He got up with a scowl on his face. Screw this, no other teacher had to make a big deal out of the new kid, but noooo of corse he had to have at least one embarrassing experience today.

“Hey, I don’t mean to single you out, but as you don’t know exactly how things work in here I need to fill you in. I’m Ms. Novak. This is an open, safe space. So what that means is curseing in writing is okay, if it enhances the experience or story. But it’s our secret, meaning if another teacher or school official finds out we can’t do it anymore. We also listen to music sometimes when writing, meaning you can bring an mp3 or use your phone as long as you have headphones; also our secret. I don’t grade on spelling or grammar, just effort, but don’t think I don’t know the difference between effort and bullshit. Any student in here can tell you I know bullshit when I see it. The only real rule I have is that you have to share at least three works of your own a week. So we understand each other?”

“Yeah. I think this could be fun.” Dean said and she waved him back to his seat. She then walked over to the front of the room.

“Alright, we need five people today. Let see those hands.” Three went up automatically. She gave each a number.

“If no one else volunteers I’m going to have to pick.” Two more hands slowly went up.

“Four, five. Good now let’s see what we’ve got.” She sat down in an empty desk up front.

The first guy to come up had sandy brown hair, honey colored eyes, and a mischievous look on his face.  
“I did a poem entitled ‘My Sexuality’ here we go.” A few kids chucked as he started.

“I’m gay, and that’s okay.  
I’m not shy,  
but I could be bi.  
Maybe I’m straight. Nah.  
Everyone knows I’m gay.”

There was a small round of claps and laughs.

“Alright, next.” Ms. Novak waved him off to the desks. He plopped down next to Dean even though he had sat in the desk two rows up before.

“Hey new guy.” He whispered. Dean looked over at him.

“So, made any friends yet.” Dean rolled his eyes.

“Not sure.”

“Well you’ve made one now.” Gabe leaned back in his seat and crossed his arms behind his head.

“Seriously, and what if I say no?” Dean questioned.

“Not allowed.”

“Not allowed my-“ Ms. Novak started to address the class as a group.

“Alright class, I’m thinking since it’s Monday and everyone is still upset about that, we should do a three hundred word story or any type of piece about something that really upsets or bothers you. We present tomorrow and you can listen to you’re music today.” 

Dean dug through his bag until he found a pen and clean sheet of paper. When he looked back up, Gabe was holding out an ear bud.

“Unless you have your own?” He smiled. Dean took it and put it in his ear. Led Zeppelin’s HeartBreaker was playing.

“You’ve got good taste in music.”

“I know.”


	2. It’s not awkward if you   don’t make it awkward

The lunch bell rang and Gabe followed Dean to his locker. Sam was at his own, having just finished lunch. It was the first time since this morning that the brothers had seen each other.

“Hey. How’s it going so far?” Sam asked.

“Dean-o made at least one friend.” Gabe leaned on the locker between the brothers. Sam chuckled grabbing a book and shutting his locker.

“Don’t wait for me at the bus, I’m staying for a club after school.” He waved at Dean and started to his next class.

“You’re friend’s cute.” Gabe had to take long steps to keep up with Dean.

“He’s my brother.”

“And which team does he play for?” Dean opened the cafeteria door and got in line.

“He’s never been in a relationship before, but if he’s lucky not yours. Our dad would kill him.” He grabbed a tray with pizza and a cup of apple sauce. Gabe took one with some kind of sandwich and jello.

“Let me guess, no one brings it up either.” Dean nodded as he punched in his lunch number to charge his account.

“I have a small group of friends I sit with, want to tag along?” Dean though about it for a second.

“Why not?” He sighed. He followed Gabe outside to the courtyard and over to a group of three people.

“Dean this is Jack, Alex, and-“

“Castiel, we’ve met.” Dean sat at the end of the table.

“Nice to see you’ve made a friend Dean, even if it is my brother.”

“Love you too bro.” Gabe said with his mouth full.

“Gross Gabe!” Alex scooted over, away from him and towards Dean.

“If I’m in your bubble let me know, 'kay?” Dean nodded starting in on his pizza.

“So, in first period today this jerk starts mouthing off to the sub and they stand up walk over to the guy, grab his baseball cap right off his head and brought it to the teacher’s desk. Then they say ‘Sorry, no asshats allowed.’ Everyone died laughing.” Jack said. Dean looked up confused.

“Oh yeah, so Alex is nonbinary. They use they/them instead of he or she.” Castiel explained.

“That’s different, but I’ll try my best to remember.” Dean took another bite of pizza.

“Thanks. I honestly don’t care if you mess up as long as you’re trying.” Alex smiled.

“So Dean how are you liking Central High so far?” Jack asked.

“It’s ok I guess. Better then the last one.” Jack nodded and then started a conversation with Alex. Castiel who was sitting in front of Dean started talking to him.

“So, what class do you have with Gabe? Or did he just jump you in the hall way?”

“I resent that.” Gabe interjected.

“Creative writing.” Dean opened his chocolate milk.

“With Ms. Novak?” 

Dean nodded. “Isn’t your last name Novak? I heard the guy call you Novak in the locker room.”

“Yeah that’s my mom.” Dean nodded. He looked down at his pizza crust.

“Hey it’s not awkward just because I told you that story.” Castiel said.

“Nothing’s awkward if you don’t make it awkward. Speaking of which, have you met Dean’s brother Sam? He’s smoking.” Castiel gave Gabe a stern look.

“Really?” Jack added, Dean couldn’t tell if he was being serious or not.

“Knock it off guys, you’ll scare him away.” Alex chuckled. “But for real, Dean, they don’t mean any harm by it.”

“It’s okay, I’m just not use to such,” he paused thinking.

“Openness?” Jack jumped in.

“Sure let’s go with that.” Dean had finished his lunch and all in all it wasn’t bad sitting with this group. The conversation casually continued and Dean listened and added something here and there until lunch was over.

Dean’s next class was Spanish, which wasn’t too bad and was over quickly. Dean saw Sam in the hallway on his way to Drama and waved, Sam gave him a thumbs up and big goofy smile. Nerd. 

Dean opened the door to the Drama room and was really impressed. It was about three times the size of the other classrooms and in the back against the wall was a huge stage about a foot off the ground. It had red curtains on a rigged rope contraption, not the expensive looking ones like on real stages but it was still nice. 

There were rows of comfortable looking chairs lined up in four lines and Dean saw Alex and Castiel sitting up front. He hated sitting up front but it was better sitting with someone he knew then alone, so he walked over quietly and sat down next to Castiel.

“Look who it is!” Alex beamed.

“Hey Alex, Castiel.”

“My friends call me Cas, easier that way.”

“Okay, Cas.”

“Ha! So we are friends now.” Dean blushed, which was odd because that was the cheesist thing in the world, but, he’d felt like he’d been caught off guard, in a good way. Cas could make a good friend.

“New student!” The female middle aged teacher in the bright pink dress sang as she hopped up on the stage.

“Go easy on him Charlie, he’s shy.” Alex called out.

“Sure thing Alex, but we’ll fix that by years end. Come on up!” Dean swore under his breath. He got on stage next to her and looked out to the chairs, there were about eighteen students all looking at him. He started turning green.

“Just start with telling us your name and a few things about yourself, then you’re off the hook.” She stepped down.

“My name is Dean, I’m seventeen, I have one brother and I love pie.” He ran off the stage and ending up tripping. Cas stood up and caught him by the armpits two feet from the ground. 

Their heads were less then a foot away. They froze like this for a few seconds both taking in what just happened before Cas helped Dean to his feet.

“And that’s why we don’t run.” Charlie sighed as she took center stage. Dean sat down; his heart racing. That was really odd, sure the fall sacred him but what scared him more was the fact that he had felt so comfortable being that close to Cas.

“I’m thinking improv today. So let’s start warming up.” Students started standing on the stage in a half circle, Dean got up carefully and stood between Cas and Alex.

“Let’s start with the flamingos!” She said and everyone picked one leg up and made chicken wings with their arms. These people are insane! 

Dean reluctantly copied them.

“How about frogs?” She shouted. Now they squatted down and started hopping.

“Ms.-“ Dean waited for her to provide her last name.  
“Just call me Charlie.”  
“Uh, Okay, Charlie is this really necessary?”

“You’ve never been in a Drama class have you?”

“Nope.”

“We can slow it down. How about everybody pair up and start a mirror. Then we’ll start improv!” Charlie went and sat down at her desk. Dean looked back and Cas was standing in front of him.

“Know how to do this exercise?” Dean shook his head. “Follow me, literally.” 

Cas started to move his hands in circles and then up and down. Dean followed and kept up fairly well. Charlie started walking around to check the pairs.

“Alright, good work boys!” She praised Dean and Cas. “Let’s stay in our pairs and work on some improv and if we have time we can do the dating game!”

Cas lead Dean over to a corner away from the other groups.

“I do sort of know what improv is.” Dean exclaimed.

“Cool, there’s only two rules really, one, go with what people say; don’t say no or try and change things. And two, don’t break character.” Dean nodded.

“Got it.”

“So what movie are you seeing today?” Cas started.

“Um, that new horror one.” Dean stumbled. Cas smiled and Dean’s heart started up again. What the actual hell?!

“I was thinking about seeing that romance, but I always change my mine when I get up to the counter.” Charlie jumped in out of nowhere, apparently she had been watching.

“Hello you two, and what are we seeing today.”

“I guess I’ll go see the horror one, Zombie Lake II, with my new friend here.” Cas grabbed Dean around the shoulder and pulled him close. Shit! Okay Dean, calm down.

“14.26 for two adults.” Cas pretends to pull out a wallet.

“I got mine!” Dean stated flustered and quickly pulled out his actual wallet.

“I insist, it’s on me.” Charlie took Cas’ fake money and gave them the fake tickets. Cas gave Dean his and Darla skipped off to another group.

“Since you paid, I’m getting the snacks!” Dean declared.

“Fair enough.” Dean turned around only to be met by the wall inches from his face. He rolled with it.

“One large butter popcorn, a box of air heads, a box of chocolate covered raisins, and two small drinks.” Cas bursted out laughing.

“Okay, so I just broke character, but you can’t just stare at the wall pretending it’s a counter!” Cas gasped between laughs. Dean chuckled too and as they were about to start a second skit Darla called them all back to their seats. 

On the stage were four chairs; three in a group and one off to the side. Charlie had a hat full of paper slips.

“Our guest of honor Dean, you’ll be our lucky contestant. Come and sit here.” She pointed to the chair on the side. Dean sighed and took his place.

“Now Sara, Heather, and Castiel; grab a paper from the hat.” The students followed directions and then sat in their three chairs.

“Now, welcome to the Dating Game!” Charlie put on an announcer’s voice. 

“Let’s introduce our guests tonight. Ladies and gentleman.” The blonde named Sara stood up and flipped her hair.

“Hi, I’m Penelope! I like flowers, spring time, and collecting the skulls of my enemies.”

Heather stood up.

“You can call me Blaze. I enjoy spending money and lavish vacations.” Next was Castiel.

“Hello there, my name is Mary Ann. I enjoy walking through peach orchards and sunset picnics.” He used a southern belle accent.

“Aren’t they lovely? Now Dean, you get to ask three questions that each of our guests will answer before you pick who you’ll be spending your weekend with on the all expenses paid trip to Hawaii! Go ahead with the questions!”

“Okay... I guess, I’d want to know what would you like to do for a first date?” ‘Penelope’ stood up flipping her hair again and giggling.

“First, I think it’d be nice to take a walk in the park, then if things are going well we can go back to my place for a movie and after that I would sacrifice you to my dark Lord Satan.”

The crowd busted out in laughter but Dean was slightly mortified. ‘Blaze’ stood and strutted to center stage swaying her hips.

“First, we goin to go to dinner; you paying. Next you’ll take me to the mall ‘cuz I need me a new outfit, which you’ll also buy. Then you can take me home.” More chuckles. Cas stood.

“I’d really like to pick peaches with you and then sit on my front porch enjoying a cold glass of sweet tea.”

Dean racked his brain for another question.

“What are you looking for in a man?” Dean asked next.

“Someone who’s kind and sweet but also shares the same faith with me. Also you need to ok with cats.”

“Money and... nope just money.”

“Well, I like it when a boy can sweep me off my feet and takes a relationship seriously.”

“Last question!” Charlie sang.

“Why are you here on the show today?” Dean asked.

“I’m having a hard time finding someone who my dark lord Satan will approve of.”

“Honestly, my last sugar daddy died, and I’m just trying to expand my opinions.”

“Well sugar cube, I’m looking for love, plan and simple.” Charlie looked over to Dean expectingly.

“I guess I’ll go with, Mary Ann.” Cas jumped up, ran over and hugged Dean as he jumped up and down. The bell rang and everyone started out the door. Cas let go of Dean and stepped back.

“Sorry, I really get into character when I’m on stage.”

“It’s cool.” Dean said quickly. Alex waved to the boys and left. Dean and Cas said goodbye and Dean went to his locker to pick some things up. By the time he was done and had reached the front gate the busses were starting to pull away. Shit! Shit! Shit!

He ran after them but it was no good. Dean turned around with his head down and accidentally bumped into Jack, who had seen him running after the busses.

“Hey, sorry. Since you missed the bus why don’t you come to club with me? Someone can give you a ride home after.”

“Beats pissing off my dad because he’d have to come get me.”

“Well come on!”


	3. A Good First Day

Jack started off and Dean followed closely behind. They ended up in Ms. Novak’s classroom, which had a paper sign reading ‘LGBT alliance club’ on the door. Jack held the door open for Dean who was surprised to see Sam, Gabe, Alex, and Cas siting in a group.   
“Hey Dean!” Sam said surprised.   
“Hey.” Dean took a seat between Sam and Cas. Ms. Novak walked through the door and set down some cookies and milk cartons, almost all the kids got up to grab some. Gabe jumped up waving the group back and brought everyone milk and two cookies. Ms. Novak waved to Cas and Gabe before clearing her throat.   
“Hello everybody!” There were a few replies of hello, and hey. “On today’s agenda, we need to cover plans for our Pride Prom, and the car wash next weekend. Cas?” Castiel got up and went to the front of the room.   
“I found a local gas station who agreed to let us use their parking lot for the car wash. There’s a sigh up sheet on the door with the address. We need a good turn out so we have more money to spend making Prom amazing. Anything anyone wants to bring up or share?” Across the room the red head boy from the locker room stood up.   
“I wanted to say thank you for earlier.” Cas smiled and Dean’s heart melted. This was getting serious, Dean had never had this happen before.   
“I got your back Jeremy. Which reminds me, the ‘I’ll go with you buttons are here.” Ms. Novak brought a wicker basket of small pin buttons around and everyone was taking one.   
“What are these for?” Dean asked after taking his.   
“If you don’t feel safe for any reason going to a public bathroom, you find someone wearing the pin and they will go with you so you don’t get bullied or anything else. The movement was started for Trans students, but honestly I don’t think it’ll be just Trans people asking.”   
Dean put his on after Alex explained.   
“We still need to come up with a theme for prom today so I’m thinking we vote right before we leave.” Cas came and sat back down as several groups started to form around the room.   
“So Sam are you here as an ally or part of the rainbow?” Gabe asked fluttering his eyelashes at him.   
“Not quite sure.” Sam smiled. Alex took Jack by the hand and pulled him off to another group leaving the two sets of brothers.   
“Are those two?”   
“Dating, yes.” Cas finished Dean’s question.   
“Cute couple.” Sam added. Gabe grabbed a slip of paper from his bag.   
“Pride Prom themes, go!” He shouted earning him a disapproving glare from his mom. He mouthed ‘sorry’ before turning his attention back to the group.   
“Broadway sounds cool.” Sam started. Gabe jotted it down.   
“Red carpet or Hollywood?” Cas added.   
“I suppose rainbows and glitter doesn’t count as a theme?” Gabe asked.   
“I’m sure you could put it down. People may like it.” Sam smiled.   
“What about a Willy Wonka candy land type thing?” Dean offered.   
“Sounds cool.” Cas said as Gabe added it to the list.  
“Anyone have anymore ideas?” Gabe looked around, “Cool, so Sam you haven’t spent a lot of time thinking about your sexuality?” Gabe started in a more serious tone.   
“Not really, I mostly focus on school. I want to be a lawyer, besides if I were to date anyone other then a girl my dad would beat my ass.” Dean looked down thinking about how Sammy had probably purposely avoided relationships because of their dad.   
“How about you Dean?” Cas pulled him out of this head.   
“I.. umm I guess I’m not sure either. I mean I think I’m straight, but I guess I’m not a hundred percent on that.” Cas smiled and nodded.   
“So I’m guessing you two both have this all figured out?” Sam asked. The brothers looked at each other and back.   
“Gay.” They said in unison. Sam smiled. Then at the same time Sam and Dean’s phone got a text alert.   
‘Going out to the bar with some buddies, don’t wait up- Dad’   
“Everything ok?” Gabe said tilting his head a little to the side.   
“Fine.” Sam left his phone on the desk face down while Dean stuffed his in his bag.   
“Dean? Want to talk about it?” Cas asked softly.   
“Not really.” Cas nodded and changed the subject.   
“Not sure if you know but we meet here, Monday’s, Wednesday’s, and every other Friday. Not this Friday though. If you two plan on coming back.”   
“I’d like to.” Sam reassured after noticing Gabe was biting his lip nervously. Cas turned his attention to Dean.   
“Yeah, this could be cool.”   
Ms. Novak started walking around collecting the prom themes and read them aloud.   
“Broadway, Red carpet, rainbows and glitter, Willy Wonka Candy Land, Masquerade ball, happily ever after, Rio or Paris. Let’s vote!” After everyone passed their ballots forward they were counted.   
“We have a tie, Candy land and rainbows and glitter. So those go fairly well together, all in favor of combining them raise your hand.” Every hand shot up.   
“I guess rainbows and glitter are a theme.” Sam smiled at Gabe. Dean could tell that was a flirtatious smile. Gabe noticed too.   
“Who you going home with?” Gabe said leaning in a little too close to Sam’s ear. Sam backed away.   
“Your mom invited me and said she’d drop me off. So does that count as ‘going home with you?’” Cas burst out laughing. Gabe was about to say something when some students started to get up to leave.   
“Time to go already?” Dean asked disappointedly.   
“Afraid so. I assume I’m dropping both of you off?” Ms. Novak walked over as the boys put their things away and stood up.   
“If that’s ok we’d really appreciate it.” Sam slung his backpack around his shoulder.   
“No problem at all guys. Just let me grab some papers, Cas and Gabe can show you to the van and get the AC started.” She held out the keys which Gabe went for but Cas was quicker. Gabe stuck out his tongue as they exited the class room.   
“Love you too bro.” Cas laughed. Ms. Novak’s dark green mini van looked pretty beat up on the outside, but inside the gray leather seats looked new, the carpet was clean and there was a flip down screen attached to DVD player on the roof.   
“It smells like apple pie!” Dean blurted out as Gabe and Sam climbed in the back.   
“It’s the air freshener. Mom’s favorite smell is apple pie.” Cas climbed in, leaned up front, and started the engine. He then sat down and patted the seat across from him. Dean climbed in and slid the door shut. In between Dean and Cas was a duffle bag with a soccer ball and the school soccer uniform.   
“That yours or Gabe’s?” Dean motioned to the bag.   
“Mine. I’ve been playing since middle school. Hoping to get a scholarship for it.”   
Ms. Novak opened the front door and slid in.   
“So where to boys?” She asked adjusting the music to a new station.   
“Whispering Pines apartments.” Sam spoke up. He and Gabe had been having a quiet conversation in the back.   
“That’s the apartment complex down the road from us.” Cas smiled.   
“Now y’all can never use the excuse of not having a ride after club.” Ms. Novak chuckled. She pulled out of the parking lot and got on the main road. Sam and Gabe continued their private conversation.   
“Did you enjoy your first day, Dean?” Cas smiled.   
“Yeah, best first day yet.” There were butterflies in his stomach. This is crazy. He might actually have a crush on Cas.   
“Good, anything special about it?”   
“Nope, I mean, making friends helped.” Dean stuttered. Cas elbowed him playfully.   
“Told you.”   
It was a short drive and Dean looked back at Sam when they parked. He was holding Gabe’s hand. Dean took in a deep breath of excitement and held it in a moment as he climbed out. Sam followed.   
“See you tomorrow.” Gabe smiled. Cas nodded towards Dean as he shut the door. Sam followed his older brother to the door.  
“So, you and Gabe?” Dean unlocked the door.   
“Yeah.” They went inside and tossed their book bags on the couch.   
“Yeah, what?” Dean started pulling things out of the pantry.   
“Yeah, I like him. I mean he’s funny and seems sweet.” Sam sat at the table. Dean sat a pot of water on the stove to boil. Then pulled a pack of hotdogs from the fridge.   
“I’ll beat his ass if he hurts you.” Dean continued to prepare dinner.   
“Yeah, yeah. Oh and Gabe gave me Cas’ number for you.” Dean looked up surprised. Sam went and grabbed his phone and added Cas as a contact.   
“Hotdogs and Mac n’ cheese; you have homework?”  
“Just math. I’ll get it started.”   
By the time dinner was done Sam had finished his homework and had started texting Gabe. Dean ate as he worked on his creative writing paper. He started off writing about how he disliked moving and by the time he had reached the minimum word limit he had written the basic story of their last five moves. Sam had gone up stairs to his room. Dean glanced at his phone laying where Sam had left it on the table. He picked it up and sent a text to Cas.   
‘Hey’ He stood up and started cleaning up the kitchen. He had just put away the left overs when his phone buzzed.   
‘Hey yourself : )’   
‘What are you up to?’ Dean loaded the pot and pan in the dishwasher.   
‘Just finished homework, had a snack. You?’  
‘Made dinner and cleaned up.’   
‘Pretty early for dinner.’  
‘Yeah. I cook most nights and I like to get it out of the way. We almost always have a second helping later.’ Dean had sat down on the couch and turned the tv on.   
‘You said you liked biking in Drama class right?’   
‘Yeah. Why?’   
‘Fell like going for a ride?’   
‘Where?’   
‘You’ll have to wait and see. So?’  
‘Sure.’ Ok, it was official, Dean had a crush on Cas. He ran upstairs and knocked on Sam’s door.   
“You’re going on a bike ride with Cas, I know.” Sam called through the door. He must be texting Gabe.   
“I should be back before nine.”   
“Then get outa here. Have fun.” Dean went and changed into a black T-shirt before going back down. He was glad to get out of that polo shirt. School uniforms sucked.   
‘I should be at your house in 5’   
‘Ok’ Dean locked the door on his way out and got his bike. Cas was pulling into the complex and going full speed. He stopped right in front of him.   
“Let’s go.” Cas smiled.


	4. The Secret Place

Dean hopped on his bike and started towards the exit. Cas passed him from behind and took a sharp turn cutting Dean off.   
“Not this way. Follow me.” He took off headed to the back of the complex. Dean followed confused. Cas lead him around the back of the last building where the property stopped at a forest’s edge. It was mostly pine trees but there were a few other kinds of trees that Dean couldn’t identify. Cas maneuvered his bike slowly through the first ten yards or so, until the trees were spaced further apart. When Dean fell behind he waited for his friend to catch up. It wasn’t long before they hit a dirt trail.   
“You can get to my house that way, and the place we’re headed is that direction.” Cas had pulled to the side allowing Dean to roll up beside him.   
“Still a secret?” Dean asked. Cas smiled and raced forward on the path. The butterflies in Dean’s stomach had morphed into wasps. He was nervous, what the actual hell was he doing? Following a guy he’d just met, and had a major crush on deep into the forest. This was crazy on a few levels. He took a deep breath and tried to keep up with Cas, who was clearly use to riding in this terrain. The deeper in they got the move the vegetation changed. There were more oaks, and patches of flowers; purple melding into white, orange ones with yellow tips, and lots more that Dean zoomed by as he tried to keep up with Cas. There was a sharp curve on the path but instead of following it Cas ducked around a wall of spanish moss. Dean braked not knowing what was waiting behind the curtain.   
“Oh, my, God.” Dean breathed the words slowly out as he took in the view. They had reached a large flowing river with crystal clear water. He could see all the way down to the pools bottom. The banks were lined with cypress trees and their red flowers that hung around them. Cas laid his bike down and plopped down on a tree that was growing sideways, parallel to the ground.   
“It’s amazing right?” Cas looked over as Dean sat next to him about a foot away.   
“What is this place?”   
“It’s a natural spring. The water flows up into this part of the river from under ground, and then flows down stream.” Cas leaned back and looked over to Dean, who had been caught watching Cas. He turned quickly back to the water.   
“Ever go swimming in there?” Dead asked hoping Cas wouldn’t bring up the fact that he had been caught making goo goo eyes at him.   
“All the time. It looks really shallow right?” Dean nodded. “It’s actually about twenty feet or more, but because it’s so clear it’s like an optical illusion. You didn’t want to go for a swim, did you?”   
“Maybe, I mean, it’s really hot out.”   
“It’s Florida, it’s always hot.” Cas laughed. He stood up and went around to the back of a near by oak tree. Dean watched as he pulled a bag out of nowhere. Confused he joined Cas behind the tree and was surprised to see a hollow nook. Cas unzipped the bag and handed Dean a neon green pair of trunks.   
“These are Gabe’s, but they should fit fine.” He pulled a navy blue pair out for himself and tossed the bag back. Cas then walked the other direction turned around and started to change. Dean quickly spun around. Shit! He started changing himself but left his boxers on underneath.   
“All good?” Cas called over his shoulder.   
“Yeah. All good.” Dean turned around just in time to see Cas dive in head first. He looked even better shirtless. Dean felt his face turn red and he hung his clothing on a branch slowly hoping the blush would be gone by the time he got in.   
“You coming?” Cas had surfaced, his black hair standing up in cute random spikes.   
“Yeah.” Dean approached the water about to step in, when Cas called out.   
“Hey! Optical illusion remember? You’re about to step straight down. If you’re walking in, start there.” Cas nodded to the left. Dean found a spot that sloped down and waded into the cool water slowly. There was a steady current but it wasn’t very forceful where Dean was standing.   
“I though you wanted to swim?” Cas’ voice had a teasing tone.   
“I’m adjusting to the water.” Cas swam closer, a big grin on his face.   
“Don’t make me pull you in.”   
“You wouldn’t.” Dean took a step back, the water just above waist level. Cas slowly creeped closer keeping just his head above water. Dean tried to go around him getting deeper but Cas grabbed him by the waist and with very little effort tossed him into the middle of the spring. Dean soon resurfaced and wiped the water from his face.   
“Seriously?” He chuckled treading water. Cas swam back out but stayed a good distance away.   
“Seriously.” Cas replied, a big goofy smile plastered to his face.   
“Have you ever touched the bottom?” Dean looked down at the rocks and weeds flowing in the current.   
“Yes, watch.” Cas dove down and picked up a smooth rock from the sand floor. It took almost a full minute for him to get there and back.   
“Here.” He placed the gray and brown stone in Dean’s hand and their fingers brushed. Dean put it in his pocket, and smiled.   
“I’m going to see how deep I can go.” Taking a big breath he started down but only made it half way before he had to come back.   
“It takes a while to master, and it helps if you let some air out as you dive.” They spent the next hour swimming and talking casually about school and random things. The sun was about to set when Cas suggested they get out. Dean agreed it was a good idea.   
“So, how many people know about this place?” He took the towel Cas handed him and started to dry off.   
“The spring, lots of people; but this exact spot, just Gabe, me, and now you.” Cas had his back to Dean while they spoke.   
“Why not bring anyone else? You’ve got a lot of friends, or it seemed like you do.” Both boys were changing now.   
“It’s a special place. I like keeping it a secret.” Cas hung his trucks up.   
“You good?”   
“Yeah, but if it’s so special, why show me?”   
“Because I like you Dean, you’re a cool guy.” Cas was still facing away and Dean was screaming in his head. Was that an ‘I like you, like you?’ Or a friend zone ‘I like you’, surely if he was admitting he had feelings for him he’d at least face him when saying it?   
“I’m glad you showed me. I had a lot of fun.”   
“Me too.” Cas picked up his bike and looked over at Dean. “Ready to head out?” Dean nodded, and Cas going slower, got back on the trail. They didn’t talk much on the way home because Cas was focusing on the trail and Dean kept up making sure to stay exactly behind Cas so he didn’t hit anything. When they got back to his apartment Dean pulled up next to Cas.   
“See you tomorrow?” He asked.   
“Looking foward to it.” Cas smiled and Dean watched as he headed home.


	5. Family Doesn’t End With Blood

Dean put his bike up and noticed his dad’s car was not in the driveway. He locked the door behind him and found Sam sitting at the table with a half eaten hotdog. He was furiously typing away on his cell. Dean grinned as he went to the kitchen to gab his second helping of Mac ‘n cheese. He sat down across Sam, who put his phone down.   
“Your hair’s wet. Did it rain?” Dean scooped a huge mouthful of cheesy goodness and scarfed it down.   
“We went swimming.” Sam nodded.   
“So I’ve noticed something.” Sam’s cell buzzed but he ignored it.   
“What’s that?”   
“There’s something going on with you.” Dean stopped eating and put his spoon down.   
“Nope.”   
“Don’t ‘nope’ me. We’re talking about this.” Dean grabbed his bowl and made a beeline for the stairs. Sam got up and walked at a normal pass after him. Dean shut his door and put his bowl on the bedside table. Sam knocked.   
“Nope.”   
“Dean, you can’t not talk about things. That hasn’t worked well before and it won’t work well now.”   
“Nope.”   
“The definition of crazy is trying the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”   
“Nope.”   
“Like holding in emotions until you explode.”   
“Nope.”   
“Or answering everything with ‘Nope.’   
“Nope.”   
“I’m coming in.”   
“Nope.” Sam opened the door and found Dean sitting crisscross on the bed.   
“I know I’m the mature one, but you gotta give me something here, man.” Sam sighed sitting down in Dean’s desk chair.   
“I don’t know what you want me to say?”   
“How about we start with the fact that you’re questioning your sexually. It’s awesome that you’re opening yourself up to finding yourself.”   
“If we’re going to get into this feelings crap, let’s start with you.” Dean grabbed his bowl again.   
“What, about Gabe and I?” Dean nodded, mouth full. “He likes me, I like him. We’re talking, we have a lot in common. Can we talk about you and Cas?” Dean’s eyes went wide without him intending them to.   
“How was hanging out? Do you think you’ll actually be good friends with him.”   
“Maybe, he’s cool.” Sam rolled his eyes.   
“You know I can see it right? Only because I’ve known you so long, but I can see it.”   
“See what? There’s nothing to see!” Dean declared. Sam crossed his arms and stood up.   
“Alright. Well if you change your mind about talking I’ll be down stairs.” He walked over to the door and turned back around.   
“I pry because I care.”   
“Yeah, yeah; Bitch.”   
“Jerk.” Sam shut the door.   
Dean finished his bowl, and went down stairs to load the dishwasher. On his way back up he got a text.   
‘Hey I think you forgot your rock.’ Shit he did.   
‘I’ll have to get it tomorrow’   
‘So how about we make a day of it? Invite the love birds?’ Dean had ireached his room and changed into his flannel night pants.   
‘Sure. Sounds fun.’ He turned the light off and laid down.   
‘Maybe even bring sandwiches, make a big day of it?’   
‘Can I ask you something but don’t take it in a bad way.’  
‘Sure.’   
‘You seem really happy, like all day. Was it a good day? Or is that you 24/7’   
Dean’s phone rang. He held his beath as Cas’ name flashed on the screen. He pressed the answer button.   
“Hey.”   
“Hey yourself.” Cas sounded like he was smiling and Dean could picture it in his head.   
“To answer you’re question I figured it’d be better to talk not text.”   
“That’s cool. I don’t know many people who actually talk on the phone anymore though.”   
“Well know you know at least one, and you makes two. So today was a good day, but honestly I am happy most days.”  
“Isn’t that exhausting though?” Dean asked.   
“Sometimes sure, but other times it’s as easy as breathing. I noticed, and stop me if I’m wrong, but you seem to not be happy. At least today.” Dean paused to think about how to frase his thought.   
“I don’t think I’ve had a reason to be happy in a while. I’ve got Sam and that’s about it.”   
“I’m lucky I’ve have a family who cares; but family doesn’t end with blood, Dean.”   
“Guess not.”   
“Give it some time. We’ll expand your family tree a bit.” Cas chuckled.   
“Yeah.” Even Cas’ laugh made his insides turn to goo.   
“Well it’s late, see you tomorrow Dean.”  
“Yeah, See ya.” Dean hung up and tried his hardest to fall asleep so he could wake up and see Cas.   
The next morning Dean was up and out the door five minutes early. Sam ran to catch up with him as they walked to the bus stop.   
“So I heard you talking on the phone last night.” Sam tried to bring up the topic subtly.   
“Spy much?”  
“Hey, the walls are thin, ok? Not my fault. So Cas?”   
“Yeah. Oh, did Gabe tell you-“ Sam interrupted.   
“About the swimming hole? Yeah.” They reached the bus stop and around the corner of the other apartment complex, Cas and Gabe came into view.   
“Did I forget to mention that they were riding the bus today?” Dean turned his back to them.   
“Really? That slipped your mind?” Dean asked through his teeth.   
“Yep. But good to know you’re excited to see Cas.” Dean opened his mouth to speak but realized that the brothers were in listening distance. He turned to greet them.   
“Hey, Gabe, Cas.” Dean smiled.   
“Morning Dean.” Cas smiled. Gabe pulled Sam into a small hug then took a step back. Cas smiled watching the two of them out of the corner of his eye. He took a few steps to the side and Dean followed to give them some room to talk. “Gabe’s never been in a serious relationship before. But he seems really smitten with Sam. It’s cute.” Cas turned to face Dean.   
“Gabe seems so open and flirty though.”   
“Yeah, but I think that’s just him. It’s not actual flirting, and last night I watched Gabe texting. He’s never taken anyone this seriously.” The bus pulled up and all four boys got on and walked all the way to the back.   
“I’m happy for them, I don’t mean to sound like I’m not. I’m just worried about our dad finding out.”   
“If that happens we’ll deal with it, but for now, just embrace the happy.” He put his arm around Dean and gave him a quick squeeze. Dean was trying so hard to figure out if Cas was being friendly or something else. He enjoyed his new friendship but if these were hints to Cas’ feelings he’d really like to figure that out sooner rather than later.   
“Embrace the happy, I’ll work on that.” Dean chuckled.   
They talked the rest of the ride witch was over too quickly. He liked being scrunched up next to Cas on the bus seat. The four boys joined Alex and John in the courtyard. Alex was leaning up against a concrete wall, their arms wrapped around Jack from behind. Alex squeezed Jack tight when they noticed Sam holding Gabe’s hand.   
“I knew it!” They said. Jack smiled and congratulated the two of them. Sam had a huge grin and was red as a lobster. Gabe purposely bumped him with his shoulder, in a reassuring way. Then he pulled Sam off to another group. After a few minutes of conversation, Dean had to go put some things in his locker.   
“See you in gym.” Cas called as Dean went inside. Dean was sorting through some things when the sound of someone being slammed up against the lockers startled him. He whipped around and saw it was Sam. The leader of the jocks from yesterday had his brother pinned to the lockers by his collar. Dean immediately grabbed the guy’s wrist, twisted it, and got between Sammy and the douche. He still had a hold of the guys wrist.   
“Sam leave.”   
“Dean-“  
“Now Sam!” A small crowd was gathering. Sam took a few steps back as the guy broke Dean’s grip.   
“Isn’t that sweet, little baby needs his brother to fight his battles.” Gabe had arrived and stood in front of Sam, hand on his chest to keep him back.   
“Isn’t this precious? You’ve got you’re brother and a boyfriend to stand up for you; that’s just adorable!”   
“Walk away before I break both of your legs.” Dean growled.   
“If your so big and bad, take a shot. Right here.” He held his face out to Dean, pointing to the side of his jaw.   
“Thought not.” The guy shoved Dean and that was it. Dean swiped his legs out from under the guy just in time for a teacher to break through the crowd and see. He marched right up to Dean and the crowed scattered.   
“He was defending me.” Sam approached the balding teacher.   
“There’s a no fighting tolerance policy. I saw you kick that young man.”   
“What, so the other guy who stated it gets off?” Sam raised his voice.   
“Watch it, or you’ll join your friend in the office.”   
“It’s fine Sammy.” Dean nodded to Gabe, who took Sam’s hand and lead him away quickly. Dean followed the teacher to the office and was given a lecturer and two days suspension. Starting today. They also called John, who was royally pissed that he had to pick Dean up. It took about thirty minutes before he showed up.   
“Dean, let’s go.” His voice was sharp. “There had better be a good explanation for this.”


	6. It’s ok to not be ok

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Physical and mental abuse warning

Dean sat quietly in the car. He could tell that his dad was still steaming and he had a few more minutes of silence before he had to explain. Fear had flooded his body long before now, but waiting was the worst part. He wanted this over; take his punishment and be done.  
With one last deep sigh John turned to his eldest son, with fire in his eye, waiting for an explanation. Dean took his time, drawing out the importance of how he was keeping Sammy safe. He left Gabe out all together.   
“I’ve got out of school suspension today and tomorrow.” Dean finished as they pulled up to the apartment. John sat back in his seat, leaving the engine running. Dean continued staring at the floor.   
“That exactly how it went down?”   
“Yes Sir.”   
“Get your ass inside boy. You’ll be staying there until you leave for school Thursday morning.” Dean got out of the car and as soon as he stepped away his dad raced out of the parking lot back to work. He’d expected much worse, but he’d do it all over again even with a worse punishment.   
Dean unlocked the door and slumped down in a dinning room chair, resting his head on his arms. He had to try and release this fear still clinging onto him. His phone buzzed.   
‘First period is over so I’m not texting in class. I’m going to get all your work so you won’t get behind.’   
Sam’s text flashed on the screen.   
‘You ok?’ Dean replied. If anything else happened while he wasn’t there- he wasn’t going to finish that thought.   
‘Yeah, Gabe’s decided he’s walking me to and from every class.’ Dean knew he’d have Cas too if push came to shove which gave him a little more comfort.   
‘Good. Now get to class.’ Dean clicked his phone off and got up from the table. He started pacing from the kitchen, dinning room, living room and then back over again. Dean hated free time; at least when he was stuck inside. Which also meant that seeing Cas at all today or tomorrow was out of the question. Dean quicken his pace while he made a list of things to do in his head.   
-Laundry   
-Vacuum  
\- Dishes  
\- unpack the last of the boxes  
It was busy work, but that was the point. By the time he had finished unpacking it was just before noon. He went to the kitchen to make lunch when his cell phone rang. He pulled it out excepting it to be his father; but Cas’ name flashed on the screen, sending his heart racing. He answered.   
“Hey. Are you ok? Gabe filled me in.” There was genuine concern and a little bit of fear in his voice.   
“Yeah. I’m fine.”   
“What happened with your dad?” His voice still held a tinge of fear.   
“I’m grounded until Thursday.”   
“But he didn’t...” Cas trailed off.   
“What did Sam tell you?” Dean didn’t mean to snap but he did rather forcefully.   
“Not a lot but, I got the impression that your dad might have been similar to mine.” Cas slowed his words towards the end of his sentence. Dean took a deep breath and let it out slowly.   
“This isn’t an over the phone conversation.”   
“You’re right. I just wanted to make sure you were ok.” Dean took a deep breath.   
“I’m ok because I have to be ok.” He’d never thought he would admit something like that. That small sentence had a lot of emotion behind it. He had to be strong; if not for Sammy then for himself. He’d broken down in from of his father once, which was all it took to teach him to never, ever, do it again. He hated the fact that it had happened in from of Sam, but it may have been better that way. Sure Sam had to watch what their father did; but it wouldn’t happen to him. He could learn from Dean’s mistake.

“Dean, that’s not how it works. It’s ok to not be ok; just deal with things as they come. Then when you have the time, if you’ll let me, I’d like to help.”  
“I don’t normally do the whole feelings thing, but I’ll try.” Dean started pacing again. This was a big deal. Huge; beyond description.   
“Not a lot of guys do, because it’s ‘not manly’ but it’s healthy. I’m really glad you trust me enough to help.”   
“You sound like Sam, you know.”   
“Good, he’s smart. I have to go eat lunch, can we text later today?”   
“Looking forward to it.” Dean hung up.   
Dean cleaned every room in the house and started back over a few by the time Sam got home. He noticed that Sam was inspecting him and Dean knew what he was looking for.   
“I’m good Sammy.” Dean huffed. Sam crossed the room and wrapped his arms around Dean. He pulled back looking Dean in the eyes.   
“Thank you, but that wasn’t worth it. We both know dad could have done a lot worse that that prick.” Sam’s tone was stern.   
“I wasn’t going to let anyone start shit. You let them start and it won’t stop, bust to nip it in the bud. Besides I’d rather take it from dad then let anyone mess with you.”   
“Damn it Dean! I’m not a kid anymore. You don’t have to protect me!”   
“Sammy, I’m you’re brother. It will always be my responsibility, my job, to protect you. You are the only person in this world I care about.” Son of a bitch! He’d let his wall down for Cas, and he had to get control back. He would not break down. With or with out his father being there.   
“Dean,” Sam’s tone was gentle, slow.   
“I’m not doing this.” Dean started off to his bedroom.   
“Come back Dean.” Sam was on his heels.   
“I’m not doing this!” He slammed his door and turned the lock.   
“This is the first time you’ve let me in since dad-“  
“I’m not doing this Sammy. I can’t.” Damn it! His eyes were wet. This wasn’t supposed to happen. He can’t be weak like this. His phone rang and Cas’ name flashed on the screen.   
“Cas I can’t.”   
“Dean, what’s wrong?”   
“Did Sam text you? Don’t lie, I can’t handle that right now.” He was coming completely undone. Eyes filling with tears. He desperately swiped at them.  
“I swear. Please tell me what’s wrong.”   
“I just can’t right now, Cas. I’ve got to go.”  
“Dean-“ He hung up. His voice was shaking. He’d screwed up. He heard what sounded like Sam sitting down against his door; but this day needed to be over. No more taking, no more feelings, and no more tears. He laid down on top of his bed and fell asleep.   
A harsh knock startled him awake.   
“Dean.” His father’s stern voice boomed. He flew out of bed and flung the door open.   
“Yes sir.”   
“I’m leaving for work. I expect dinner to be done when I get home tonight.” Shit, he’d forgotten.   
“Yes Sir.” His Father turned and went downstairs. He checked his phone. Sam would just have woken up. He waited in the hallway. How many times could he screw up in one day. Sam emerged from his room and Dean was in his face.   
“What did he do?”   
“Yelled; Nothing else.” Dean sighed in relief.   
“I’ll make dinner before you get home.” The front door slammed below them.   
“Cas really wants to talk to you. He asked me to ask you to check you’re messages.” Dean nodded.   
“Have a good day at school Sammy.”   
Once he was alone in the house he checked his phone. Two missed calls from Cas and a very long text message.   
‘Dean I get that you want to be left alone. Sam assured me that you were just sleeping but I wouldn’t let him tell me anything else. Please when you feel up to it, text or call. I’m really worried about you.’ Dean wasn’t sure if he should respond now. Everything was still so fresh in his mind. He couldn’t break down again, but he wanted to hear Cas’ voice so badly. He gave in and sent a text.   
‘Can I call?’  
‘Please’ the responses was instant. Dean dialed and Cas picked up on the first ring.   
“Before you say anything, I’m not ok but I’m dealing. I don’t want to talk about yesterday.”  
“That’s doable.”   
“How was your day yesterday?” Dean asked.   
“Honestly?”   
“Honestly, please, I need some normalcy.” Dean sighed  
“It sucked at first. I couldn’t get Gabe to call down. He was scared for Sam and he thought it was his fault.”   
“Why would he think-“   
“Because he was holding Sam’s hand. He thought he caused that jerkwad to start shit with Sam because they had feelings for each other. Gabe tried to break it off, he tried to pull away publicly in the hall after school, thinking of lots of people saw it that news would spread and Sam would be left alone; but Sam wouldn’t let him do it. He pulled him into the biggest hug and told him that no one was going to intimidate him out of something this special. Then he kissed him right there with a hall full of people watching. And when I say he kissed him, I don’t mean a peck. Your brother full on tongued my brother in the hallway. I would have laughed if it wasn’t the sweetest thing I’d seen in my life.”   
“Way to go Sammy!” Cas chuckled and Dean couldn’t help picturing that toothy grin.   
“Things are still cool between us right?”  
“Of course, Dean.” Cas reassured.  
“Good.”   
“I’ve got to go get ready, I’ll text you on the way to school?”   
“Looking foward to it.” Dean hung up, maybe today wouldn’t be so bad.


	7. Feelings and Shit

The kitchen looked like it’d been hit by a tornado. At least he’d have something to focus on for a while.  
‘Hey’ Dean’s phone buzzed.  
‘On your way to school?’ Dean shoved his phone in his pocket and started scraping whatever this brown crap was off the counter.  
‘Yep, I’m sitting behind Gabe and Sam. Gabe is sleeping on his shoulder because he was up all night texting.’ This brown shit was really dried on there good.  
‘I’m really glad they’re happy.’  
‘Me too. Mom is thrilled, she wants to invite Sam to dinner.’ Dean stopped cleaning turning his full attention to the conversation.  
‘How much does she know?’  
‘Just that they are seeing each other and what happened yesterday. Nothing about you’re dad. Gabe knows not to say anything either.’  
‘Thank you.’  
The boys texted until first bell and Dean got back to cleaning. He didn’t mind cleaning so much, it was a good time to let his mind wonder, and Cas was the topic of the day. With everything that had happened and how Cas had dealt with the situation, he was almost sure what they had was more then a friendship.  
Dean had had other crushes before, mostly on girls. He preferred dark hair but other then that he had to type. His first and only male crush was a boy named Michael, in the fourth grade. He enjoyed playing tag with him at recess and eating lunch together; but even then he knew what his father thought of gay couples.  
All of his crush’s didn’t last long, and he’d only been in two relationships. Ruby was the first. They had dated for four months until he was uprooted again. They tried to make the long distance thing work, but after two weeks they called it quits. Next was Charlie, who during the second week of their relationship announced she was gay. He was happy for her and they stayed friends until the next move, but after that Dean stopped chasing crushes. It wasn’t worth it, which is why he didn’t understand why he was letting himself get so attached to Cas. He was hoping that there was something between them.  
His phone rang and Cas name flashed on the screen.  
“Hey.” He answered.  
“Hey, yourself.” It was cheesy and a little odd but Dean liked when Cas used that line.  
“How’s school?”  
“Good so far. Our brothers are the topic of today’s gossip.” Cas laughed.  
“Does it bother them?”  
“Not that I can tell.”  
“Then let them talk.” Dean could hear the back ground noise quiet down.  
“Just get into the courtyard?”  
“Yeah-“ Gabe’s voice cut in.  
“We’re all missing you Dean!”  
“Thanks.”  
Cas and Dean talked until lunch was over, and the rest of the group added a few things in here and there. It was nice and when they had to hang up, he felt like he wasn’t so alone. He did his class work, which wasn’t too hard. He saved the work from Creative writing for last. The writing prompt was just one word: Secret; with a five hundred word minimum. This was honestly the hardest assignment. He wasn’t very good at stories; and he knew he couldn’t bullshit this. He’d have to use something personal to make it sound good, which is exactly what made it so difficult. It’s not like he had an abundance of secretes. His home life was out of the question; which left Cas. He’d just have to find the line between enough effort and not giving too much away. 

~I’d given up on this. Not that anyone noticed.- 

No good. He tore up the page and started again. 

~ Hiding things is easy. No effort needed. Keep your cake hole shut, and your good. Dealing with things is not easy. Feelings are sticky and frustrating. 

He let the words flow, every other sentence stopping to count them. This was good, he’d put effort into it, and all in all, he’d kept everything he wanted off the page. His secret was safe.  
Dean started early on a large dinner; salad, mashed potatoes with gravy, corn on the cob, pork chops, and apple pie. He didn’t want his dad to be able to say shit about him not putting effort into this, and it had to make up for last night.  
Sam got home as Dean was taking the pie out of the oven. The whole house smelled like a Cinnabon shop.  
“Pie?” Sam flopped down on the couch.  
“Apple, cinnamon pie.” He placed it on the counter to cool. They had about two hours before they had to worry about their father coming home.  
“How’s Gabe?” Dean plopped down next to Sam.  
“He’s good. Cas told you about the hallway incident.” Dean nodded.  
“It’s not my business if you want to French your boyfriend in public; but I am glad you’re happy.” He patted his brother on the back and got up to finish dinner.  
By the time John was home everything was laid out on the table, plates were set, picture perfect.  
“That’s more like it.” John grunted. He went up stairs to change. When he got back, they sat down to a family meal. Dean was relieved when his father said he’d skip dessert and went upstairs for the night. The later it got the more excited he became. He would get to see Cas tomorrow.  
Dean went to bed early, only talking on the phone with Cas for half an hour.  
The next morning Dean woke up before his alarm clock. He tried his best to do things at a normal pace. Getting to the bus stop early would just mean waiting with nothing to do. He sat at the kitchen table forcing himself to eat a pop-tart knock off. His stomach was churning with excitement; his leg shaking under the table. It was a tick he’d had forever.  
“Eager much?” Sam rounded the corner from the staircase.  
“Dad’s not in the house, and I can see it; why not just admit it?”  
“If you see it, why do I need to say it?”  
“Point taken; don’t admit it to me then. Admit it to him.” Sam grabbed his own breakfast.  
“Maybe.”  
“What do you mean maybe?” They grabbed their backpacks and started to the bus stop.  
“I’m not good with shit Sammy. You know that.”  
“I also know that this isn’t a normal crush for you. I can hear it in your voice when you talk to him. I just don’t-“ Dean elbowed Sam in the ribs realizing that Cas and Gabe were already at the bus stop. Gabe ran up to Sam and snuggled into his arms. It was adorable; because of their height difference Sam could perfectly fit Gabe’s head between his chest and neck, resting his head on top.  
Cas swiftly walked over and enveloped Dean in a hug of his own, which surprised and delighted him. He hugged back letting his head rest on Cas’ broad shoulder. It was over too quickly.  
“It’s good to see you.” Cas greeted him.  
“You too.”  
Sam had taken Gabe’s hand and pulled him a good bit away. Dean wondered how much Sam had told him.  
“How about we hang out after school tonight? Talk about those conversations best had in person?” The phrasing he used seemed odd; maybe Cas wasn’t perfect at this feelings shit. The thought made him feel slightly better. Cas wasn’t perfect but he could still help Dean be better.  
The bus pulled up and the boys made there way to the usual back rows.  
“I’d really like that.” Dean answered. Sam and Gabe started whispering in each other’s ears after they sat down; completely lost in their own little world. Dean was pressed firmly up against Cas in the small seat. Cas wiggled a bit pulling something from his pocket. He held it out to Dean, hidden in his palm. Dean laid his hand open and Cas placed the small stone in the center of his palm; leaving his soft fingertips on Dean’s hand until he looked up into Cas’ ocean blue eyes. Cas then pulled his hand away.  
“Thank you.” That tiny interaction had Dean dumbfounded. It was intimate in a way he couldn’t have understood until it happened.  
“Your welcome.” Cas smiled and like clockwork his heart started melting. He was trying not to stare, but failing miserably. There were several times that he swore Cas had caught him, but he just kept staring out the window. It was nice to just sit next to him, there was no expectations of conversation; just a warm fuzzy feeling inside and a great view.  
.


	8. The Mighty Mustangs

The bus pulled into the bus loop and everyone sluggishly exited. Sam wrapped his arm around Gabe’s shoulder, and Gabe pulled him closer by the waist. The courtyard was crowded this morning and there was a buzz in the air. Alex ran over Jake in tow, yellow Pom-poms in hand and donning a blue and yellow cheerleading outfit.   
“Is everyone ready?” They shouted.   
“Ready for?” Dean questioned.   
“The pep rally! The football game is tonight, and the soccer game is tomorrow!”   
“Hey, if it gets me out of class; go school! What’s our mascot again?”   
“The mustang.” Jack spoke up.   
“The Mighty Mustangs! Trotting all over our competition!” This was a big deal to Alex.   
“You want to go to the soccer game? I’ve got free tickets, being on the team and all.” Cas smiled turning his full attention to Dean.   
“I’d love to.”   
“Cool.” The bell rung, and everyone started off to first period.   
“Shouldn’t they be headed to the gym with us?” Dean was walking close to Cas in the crowded hall way.   
“Not yet. The teachers still have to take roll, then they announce building, by building, to come to the gym.” Cas filled him in.   
“So we get to hangout in the gym waiting for it to fill up?”   
“Yes, and we get the best seats.”   
“The very back?” Dean asked hopefully.   
“I like to sit up front, right in the action; but you can sit in the back if you’re more comfortable there.” Cas smiled. Dean shook his head.   
“Can’t get rid of me that easily.” The gym doors were propped open, faculty members standing by each door. Dean nodded politely as he passed the vice principal on his way in. He followed Cas towards the back of the gym and they sat down in the front row.   
“I heard Gabe had something planed for tomorrow night.” Cas said as he watched the other students filling in. The coach started walking around checking names off her class list.   
“What’s that?”   
“I don’t know specifics, but I do know it involves your brother, flowers, a large posterboard and glitter.” Cas chuckled.   
“Sam’s not one for surprises, for Gabe though I could see him making an exception.” The announcements started and building A-C were released to the gym.   
“How long do these normally last?”   
“Normally they end in the middle of third period.” Dean noticed he was slowly scooting closer to Cas without realizing it, not that Cas seemed to mind.   
“You’re really excited for this thing, hm?”  
“Yeah, and not just because we get to skip class. Most of the pep rallies are for football games, but this time the soccer team gets a piece of the excitement.” Dean could see the gleam of passion in blue eyes. Every time he looked into them, they seemed to get deeper, turn bluer. Buildings D-F were starting towards the gym now. Jack was the first of their group to arrive. He walked hastily over and took a seat behind them.   
“I saw Sam on the way over, he’ll be here shortly.”   
“How long has Alex been a cheerleader?” Dean asked turning around.   
“Since sophomore year, we’re both seniors now.”   
“Is it cool having a cheerleader for a-“ Dean stopped remembering Alex was non-binary.   
“Sweetheart; we use sweetheart. And yes it’s awesome.” Jake smiled. Sam and Gabe had snuck up on the guys during their conversation. Taking the spots next to Jake as the announcer dismissed buildings G-J.   
“How many buildings are there in this school?” Dean huffed.   
“J was the last.” Cas chuckled. Gabe whispered something to Jack who nodded quickly as an enormous smile crossed his face.   
“It’s not nice to keep secrets.” Cas sarcastically scolded.   
“Not my secret to spill.” Dean held his breath for a moment. Even if Sam had told him about Dean’s feeling for Cas, Gabe wouldn’t tell anyone else would he.   
“You alright Dean? You look a little pale.” Cas’ voice snapped Dean back to reality.   
“Yeah, all good.” He assured. The bleachers were almost packed. Kids chatting, some very louder then others. The principal made his way to the center of the gym floor, mic in hand.   
“Good morning Central High!” His voice boomed. The crowd roared.   
“Can I get a wave?” He shouted. The crowd on the left of each side stood and started a wave.  
“Wow. This is pretty serious.” Cas nodded smiling.   
“Let’s hear it for our Mighty Mustang Cheerleaders!” The crowd got even louder as a group dressed in familiar blue and yellow uniforms entered through the back.   
“From the North, to the East, to the South, to the West!  
The Mustangs are the very best,   
we’re gonna B-E-A-T beat ‘em!   
B-U-S-T bust ‘em!   
Beat ’em! Bust ‘em!  
That’s our custom!   
Come on boys let’s readjust ‘em!” They danced as they recited their cheer and the football team in full uniform, pads and all, burst through the doors whooping. The crowd was on their feet and before Dean had a second to think Cas had taken him by the hand and pulled him up as well! Holding on to his he flung it up into the air before releasing it. Dean threw his other hand in the air because what the heck.   
“We're gonna win the game!  
And you wanna know why?  
'Cause we've got spirit  
And we're riding high!  
S-P-I-R-I-T  
S-P-I-R-I-T, spirit!  
Hey, let us hear it!  
Gonna high gear it!  
'Cause we've got spirit!” They started forming a Pyramid.   
“Look! Alex is at the top!” Jack exclaimed, Gabe High-fived him. They stayed in the formation as the principal got up to speak again.   
“How about that?” The gym walls echoed with the sound of feet stomping with rhythm. Dean joined in. This was actually kind of fun. He looked over at Cas and caught him staring at him.   
“A smile looks good on you!” He had to shout to be heard.   
“Thanks!” Dean turned his head quickly hoping Cas wouldn’t see the blush taking over his face.   
“The cheerleaders and football team have put together a special set for you today! Show ‘em some love!” The stomping continued faster.   
After about six cheers, which included the football team dancing and tossing cheerleaders around, the principal was back.   
“Please stand for the school anthem.” Cas pointed to a sign hanging over the doors where the lyrics were written in neon yellow over a blue background. 

“We are the Mighty Mustangs,   
Proud and true, representing Central   
In our yellow and blue!   
Sing with us in pride,   
Over the feilds we fly!   
We will back you, our Central High.   
We will back you to victory.  
Banners fly high for Central High across the sky,  
they seem to cry Rah! Rah!  
Loyal sons, go marching on,  
marching on from dawn to dawn.  
We are defenders of yellow and blue.  
Singing onward, for Central High!  
Rah, Rah, Rah, Rah, Rah,  
Rah, Rah, Rah, Rah, Rah,  
Rah, Rah, Rah, Rah, Rah.” As the singing ended the band carried on into the tune of the National anthem. It was sang with just as much enthusiasm. The students sat and this time the vice principal took the mic.   
“Hello Central! Time to double the excitement because today isn’t just about our football team. We are also here to support our Central Soccer Stars! Get up her guy!” Cas and about fifteen other students stood and raced to the gym floor. A soccer ball was tossed into the air and Cas caught it between his shoulder blades. He passed it on to a teammate, who performed another trick before passing it again. The cheerleaders started up again.   
“Who are we?”   
“Mighty Mustangs!” The crowd roared.   
“And what do we do best?”   
“Trample!” Each of the soccer players was then tossed a ball and started doing a synchronized routine.   
By the time the pep rally had finished it was time for fourth period; Creative writing. Dean strolled into the classroom still pumped from the rally. He took his seat and looked at the start up prompt; story time. Taking a minute to gather some thoughts he wrote his best story about a young boy who ran away from home. He wasn’t picked to read it, however he had been picked to read his ‘Secret’ assignment. He already had stage fright. Why the hell did this have to be the first thing he read in front of everyone.   
After stumbling through his work he sat down quickly and tried to focus on making it to lunch, when he could see Cas again.


	9. A Spoon Full Of Honey

Dean was walking down the hallway on his way to lunch whe Cas snuck up behind him getting his head as close as he could to Dean’s before whispering,   
“Hello Dean.” He spun around in a jerk reaction and just had enough time to stop himself from punching his crush.   
“I’m not responsible for for decking you if you are trying to scare me.” Cas smiled that beautiful smile and Dean couldn’t even be mad at him.   
“Duly notated.” Dean’s phone buzzed.   
‘Going to the bar, don’t wait up.’ Cas saw the message but didn’t say anything. They started walking to the cafeteria together. After grabbing some food they found Alex, Jack, and Gabe eating in the normal spot.   
“Hey guys.” Dean said sitting next to Cas. Gabe whispered in Jack’s ear, and he in turn whispered to Alex.   
“We playing telephone?” Cas asked taking a bite of his burger. Dean tensed up. He knew what was going on. Gabe stood up with his tray in hand.   
“I gotta go see someone about something.” He looked like he was trying to hold in a laugh.   
“Us too.” Jack and Alex stood and went in the opposite direction of Gabe.   
“I smell a conspiracy.” Cas looked at him. Shit!   
“Any idea what?” Dean didn’t want to change the topic right away. That’d be too suspicious.   
“No idea.” Cas pulled a small jar out of his book bag. Dean tilted his head in a questioning manor. “Oh, when ever I get apple sauce, I put a scoop of raw honey in it.” Cas took his spoon and scoooed out a smal dollop out. After stirring it in he portioned a bite and held it out for Dean to try. Is he about to spoon feed me? That is dating thing. This was so frustrating, Dean was seeing so many tiny things that could mean Cas likes him, but it’s never clear; more like standing on the blurred line between friends or more. Dean leaned foward and opened him mouth. The sweet mixture hit his tongue and he couldn’t help letting out a sinful moan. He quickly covered his mouth, mostly trying to hide his blushing cheeks.   
“So good, isn’t it?” Cas took his own bite. He couldn’t fantasizing about kissing Cas with that sweet taste on his lips. He would explore his mouth and nip his lips playfully.   
“Dean?” Cas’ voice pulled him back to reality.   
“Yeah, sorry. What was that?”   
“I asked if you feel up to talking about your dad after school today.” Dean looked down at his half eaten lunch.   
“I guess I could try.” That was the best he could do. No promises.   
“Do you want to hang out at my house? Mom has book club tonight. So we won’t be interrupted.” If Cas had asked him to come over when they’d be alone, he’d have said yes in a heart beat; but the reason he was going over made him hesitate. After a moment he nodded. The lunch bell rang and they each went off to their next class. Sixth period fell by and Dean almost ran to Drama. Cas hadn’t arrived yet but Alex was standing by the door; apparently waiting for him.   
“So?”  
“So what?” Dean asked.   
“We gave you the perfect opportunity to tell him. Tell me you told him!” They smiled brightly.   
“You mean that stunt you guys pulled at lunch?!” They nodded. “I’ll tell him when I’m ready. How do even know?” He hissed.   
“Anyone who watches you guys for five seconds knows.”   
“So you know for sure, completely verified, he likes me back?”   
“Well I didn’t walk up and ask him or anything.”   
“Then I’ll do it when or if I’m ready.”   
“Ready for what?” Cas asked as he reached the door.   
“Yeah Dean, ready for what?”   
“How about I tell you when I’m ready to tell you what I’m not ready for.” Dean fumbled his words a bit but after it came out it made since; kinda.   
“Well let me know when your ready.” Cas chuckled as he headed inside.   
“Well I hope you’ll be ready soon. They puppy dog eyes are cute but I think a pair of them would be better.”  
Dean shook his head and followed them inside.   
“Hello class!”   
“Hello Darla.”   
“Today we are going to focus on emotions. Pair up and come pull an emotion out of the hat. Cas looked to Dean with that big toothy smile.   
“Let’s go, goofball.” Dean chuckled. They were second to pick a slip of paper. Dean unfolded it and gulped. Of course; love. Cas read it over his shoulder.   
“I want you to come up with a skit. Al least two minutes long to be presented at the end of class.” He loved and hated this at the same time.   
“What are you thinking?” Dean asked Cas.   
“Well, I’m thinking that there are a lot of ways to experience and express love. We have a lot to choose from.”   
“Have you ever been in love?” The question slips out before Dean even thought about what he was saying.   
“Yes; once.” There was hesitation in his voice. “Have you, Dean?”   
“No.”   
“How about we do something cheerful? Maybe even dramatic; like crushes? Everyone’s had a crush, it’ll be relatable.”  
“Sure, Cas.” Dean’s breath caught in his chest. He’d be dead by the end of class if this kept up. Either his heart would explode out if his chest or he’d die of lack of oxygen.   
“You pick a scenario. I feel like I’m hogging the idea spotlight.”   
“Ok, um crushes; let’s see. I think it’d be easier if we both played guys since ya know, and ummm, maybe we both do speachs like to ourselves, planing on telling the other.” Yeah, his heart was going to explode; any minute now.   
“I like it, but then when we see each other, we freeze; but there should be this grand gesture that explains it. Like a kiss!” He couldn’t breathe. It would be amazing to kiss Cas,but this isn’t how he wanted it. A stage kiss with an audience, just didn’t seem right.   
“I think a kiss on the cheek will do.” Dean replied.   
“Alright, let’s get to work on the lines.”   
By the time Darla asked everyone to take there seats Dean and Cas had everything written, but had not practiced.   
“Any volunteers?”  
“Us.” Cas jumped up.   
“Wait what?”  
“It’s best to get it over and done. Because your stage fright won’t have time to build.” Dean nodded reluctantly. The boys took their place on stage facing away from each other. Dean started first.   
“Eric, I’ve been in love with you forever. No that’s not right.” He started pacing. “You’re my best friend and I hope you- No, No.” Dean stopped and Cas took over.   
“You were my first friend and I didn’t plan on falling for you, but it happened.”  
“I get butterflies when I see you.” Dean started.   
“You make my heart go crazy.” Cas sighed.   
“You’re the first thing I think about in the morning.” Dean stopped pacing. He and Cas both turned to the audience and said the last line.   
“I just need you to know how I feel.” The lights went out as they had planed and when they came back up they stood facing each other.   
“Hey Eric.”   
“Good to see you Mark.” They hugged.   
“I wanted to umm-“  
“Can I tell-“ they spoke their lines at the same time, just as it was in the script.   
“Sure.”  
“Go ahead.” Again the words mixed. They stared at the other for a brief moment. Cas leaned over and kissed Dean on the upper corner of his lip. The lights went out as the class applauded. Did he do that on purpose; no he just missed. Maybe he thought it’d make it look more realistic. Darla stood up.   
“Very good you too.” Dean practically ran off stage back to his seat next to Alex. They were giggling like crazy. Cas held his hand up for a high five. Dean slapped it as the next pair was called up.   
When the bell rang Cas followed Dean to his locker. Sam and Gabe had been waiting for them.   
“Did you get Dad’s texts?” Sam asked. Dean nodded.   
“I’m going to go hang out at Cas’ house.”   
“Well we are going to the spring.” Gabe sung taking Sam’s hand. Gabe started off towards the bus loop, but he turned back. “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!”   
Dean thought he saw Cas start to blush but he turned to adjust something in his book bag.   
“Ready?” Cas asked turning back around.   
“Yep.” This was not going to be an easy afternoon. As much as he wanted to talk to Cas about anything, he wasn’t sure he could handle this; but he had to try.


	10. Scars

Dean’s stomach turned with anticipation and fear. He sat pressed up against Cas on the bus, but right now all he could focus on was trying to stay calm. The bus let them off at their spot and Sam and Gabe waved, starting off to the spring. Dean followed Cas into his house and was hit by a wave of color. The living room walls were a light shade of lavender. There were dark purple throw pillows sitting neatly on a sky blue couch.   
Cas flung his backpack on the round, high top dining room table. Dean was admiring an odd looking, iron lamp when Cas opened the fridge.   
“Do you want a soda?” Dean nodded and Cas pulled two Mountain Dews out. Dean grabbed his and followed Cas to his room. It was a lot simpler in design, but there was still a good bit of color. The walls were a soft shade of green. A queen sized bed pushed into the left back corner, had a decorative, gray swirl pattern. Cas walked over to one of the two yellow bean bags next to a desk opposite the bed. He sat and motioned for Dean to take the other.   
Dean didn’t want to sit just yet. Instead he started to take his shirt off. If he was going to do this, he needed to start now, before he had the chance to back out. Cas was confused at first, until he saw the scars.   
“Cigarette burns.” He pointed to his left shoulder, where at least twelve smal circles peppered his upper chest. Turning slightly to the side he traced a long jagged scar.   
“I was running from him, and tripped over something; landed on a broken beer bottle. He put his shirt back on.   
“Why haven’t you told anyone?” Cas’ voice was soft and a tiny bit scared.   
“If I tell anyone, Sam and I would be taken away. We might get separated. I’m not willing to chance that; and now I’m strong enough to fight back. He doesn’t try anything anymore.” Cas nodded and Dean put his shirt back on. He sat down and kept his eyes on the floor.   
“My left arm’s been broken twice. I have a metal pin in my left knee. I jump every time I hear the front door open, because I know it’s him. Even the sound of rattling keys, anyone’s keys, sets my heart into panic mode; it reminds me of him opening the door. I don’t like people touching my wrists, because he use to grab them and dig his nails in, when he was pulling me somewhere. One summer, when I was young, I stayed in my and Sam’s room for an entire week. I had pissed my dad off and I was so scared. Leaving the room meant that, if he was still mad, I’d get another beating. I drank water from the bathroom that was connected to our room. Sam snuck me snacks.” There were tears in his eyes and he swiped them away a little too forcefully. Cas reached out and grabbed his hand.   
“You don’t have to keep going-“   
“No, I need to finish this.” He hiked his right pants leg up. There were scars from self inflicted cuts. Too many to count.   
“I’d never leave Sammy. I never tried to end it, but this helped. I don’t do it anymore.” The look of horror on Cas’ face was devastating to look at. He stood up and reached his hand down to help Dean to his feet. Grabbing hold, Cas jerked him up and into a hug.   
“Let me help, please. I can talk to my mom, she’ll make sure you and Sam stay together. You’re almost eighteen, next year you could even be Sam’s legal guardian.” He whispered in Dean’s ear, which only made him squeeze tighter.   
“It’s not that I don’t trust you, Cas. I just don’t know if it’d make it worse somehow.” Dean’s phone rang and Sam’s name flashed across the screen. He pulled away and answered.   
“Dean help! It’s dad!” There was the sound of a struggle in the background. Sam screamed and the call ended. Fear shot through his body. Cas grabbed him by the hand, making sure not to touch his wrist.   
“Come on!” They ran outside and grabbed two bikes. Dean borrowed Gabe’s. Dean raced faster then he thought possible on the bike; praying that Sam would be ok, that they’d get there in time.   
The front door was open. Dean pedaled the bike into the house and rammed straight into his father. Gabe was on the ground holding his head. Dean desperately searched for Sam as Cas ran inside. Cas grabbed Gabe up. Sam turned around the corner holding his arm, which was completely covered in blood. John was getting up and Dean grabbed his brother by the elbow, leading him out while taking the bike in his other hand. Once they were outside Dean saw Gabe sitting on the handle bars of Cas’ bike. Sam jumped up mimicking him. John was at the door, he grabbed for Dean’s shirt and missed.   
“This way!” Cas shouted. He started off in the direction of the forest. Dean followed him, understanding the plan. John had gotten in his car and was right behind them. Cas and Dean swerved to avoid the car as he tried to ram them. It only took a minute for boys to reach the tree line and Dean followed Cas in. John hopped out of the car and continued the chase on foot. It wasn’t long until he lost them.   
They took the trail that lead back to Gabe and Cas’ neighborhood. Dean hurried them inside and locked the door behind them.   
“I’m calling the police.” Cas picked up the house phone.   
“No! You can’t!” Dean shouted. Cas was about to speak but Dean didn’t give him the chance.   
“We’ll tell your mom, but no police without her here.” Cas let out a deep breath but agreed. Gabe had pulled a first aid kit from under the sink. The boys sat at the table and Dean took a look at Sam’s arm.   
“Beer bottle.” His little brother explained.   
“I need tweezers please.” Gabe rushed to get them. Dean knew he could patch Sam up. He started to remove the glass shards.   
“Are you sure you don’t need to go to the hospital?” Gabe asked holding Sam’s hand. Dean could tell his brother was putting on a brave face for his boyfriend. Sam shook his head.   
“Dean’s pretty experienced, with this type of thing.” Dean heard Cas’ voice in the background. He’d called his mom and was explaining the situation. After removing the last of the glass, Dean poured some rubbing alcohol over the wound, causing Sam to jerk away. Gabe grabbed him and pulled him close to his chest, holding him tight.   
“What happened?” Cas asked the question Dean wasn’t sure he was ready for.   
“I went home to grab my trunks and a snack. Dad came in as we were on our way out. He wasn’t supposed to be home, I thought it’d be safe. He saw us holding hands.” Sam’s voice was shaking so Gabe took over.   
“He started cursing and calling Sam names; faggot, whore and a few other things. He grabbed Sam by the shirt and I tackled him. That’s when Sam called you. I struggled with him, trying to keep him away from Sam, but he knocked me down. He grabbed a broken beer bottle from the counter and chucked it as Sam. It half missed, hitting the wall and shattering, but the way Sam was running he accidentally tripped, leaning into the broken glass embedded in the wall. At that point I jumped in and punched him in the gut, but it didn’t do any good and he slammed my head into the wall causing me to fall again. That’s when you guys showed up.” Dean had just finished wrapping the gauze around Sam’s arm.   
“It’ll be about an hour before she gets her.” Cas informed. Dean took a deep breath trying to calm himself. Not now; he couldn’t have a panic attack now. Too late. He starts hyperventilating and Cas is immediately at his side. Dean feels hands on his shoulders, but his eyes are closed.   
“Dean, I need to breath with me. Five seconds in, hold for seven, then three out. Ok?” Dean tried to follow the instructions and fight the panic.   
Twenty minutes later he had managed to calm himself enough to make sure Sam was still ok. He looked over, Gabe was sitting on his lap holding his face. The bandage was bloody but the bleeding had seemed to stop. Dean hadn’t even noticed that Cas was still sitting in front of him.   
“You alright?” His voice sounded deeper then normal. He’d been crying. This whole day had been one emotional nightmare after another. Dean reached out and pulled Cas into a hug. He wanted to be comforted, but he needed to be comforted by Cas.


	11. I’m Asking If You Like Me, Castiel

Gabe and Sam had moved to the couch, while Cas and Dean sat across the table, when Ms. Novak got home.  
“I need to know exactly what happened; from the beginning.”  
“Gabe and Sam were heading to our house-“ She stopped Dean.  
“I mean from the beginning of when the abuse started.” She was calm, her tone was even. Dean shook his head. He couldn’t do that again.  
“I’m sorry. I can’t.” His breath grew faster. Cas reaches out and laid his hand on Dean’s. He pulled away at the touch, not realizing it was Cas. He felt so messed up, this had to be the second worst day in his life; the first being the day his mom died.  
He looked over to Cas, and was happy to see that he hadn’t hurt Cas’ feelings. The look of concern was still there.  
“Alright. We can talk later. Right now I need to call DCF.” She took her phone and walked down the hall, probably so they didn’t have to hear the conversation.  
“Sorry Cas.” He felt he had to apologize.  
“It’s fine Dean.” Cas looked over to the couch. Gabe had his head rested on Sam’s shoulder. Their hands in tangled between them. Ms. Novak came back in.  
“There will be two officers her soon. They are also sending someone to pick up your father. They’ll escort us to the hospital.” She informed.  
“Then what?” Sam sounded terrified. Dean could see him gripping Gabe’s hand so tightly his knuckles turned white.  
“A social worker will meet us there. You’ll have to talk to her about the abuse.” She hesitated before saying the word abuse.  
“And then?” Dean asked.  
“Well, they’ll find somewhere to place you for now; but don’t worry. I’ll request you both stay with me.” There was a loud knock at the door. Cas went to get it. Two police officers followed Cas to the living room; one man and one woman.  
“Is this everyone in the house?” The man asked. Ms. Novak nodded.  
“All right. We’re going to escort you to the hospital. Which of you two was the call about.” She looked to Ms. Novak.  
“Sam and Dean.” She pointed them out.  
“Alright boys, you two are going to need to ride with us.” Dean noticed Sam starting to cling tight to Gabriel. He was too wrapped up in his own emotions that he hadn’t even realized how difficult this had been on his brother. The female cop noticed Sam pulling Gabe closer. She walked over and squatted down to be eye level with the boys.  
“I’m sorry that you have to ride with us, but your friend can come too if that’s ok?” She looked at Ms. Novak asking permission. She nodded and mouthed the words; thank you. The woman then turned to Dean.  
“Your friend too.” Cas nodded quickly, which gave Dean a since of comfort. He didn’t want Dean to be alone.  
“I’ll follow behind in the van.” Ms. Novak said as everyone was walking out. Gabe and Sam sat in the first car and Cas and Dean got into the second with the male officer. The situation hadn’t really hit Dean until this point. This was actually happening, and there was no way to stop it now. Cas noticed the change in Dean’s demeanor and put his arm around him. The officer saw in the rear view mirror but didn’t say anything.  
“I remember the first time the cops were called to my house. I was so scared. You’d think it’d happen fast, but it felt like it went in slow motion; I got through it though. Just like you’ll get through this.” Cas whispered.  
They pulled up to the hospital and the police cars stopped at the entrance, while Ms. Novak had to park. The boys walked side by side to the front desk. The officers started to talk to the man behind the desk but, Dean was trying to hold back another panic attack. He was over stimulated; the lights were too bright, there were too many people running around, and the noise was incredible loud.  
“Dean?” He looked at everyone who has started to walk away.  
“Yeah, I’m coming.” He followed the officers who were being lead by a nurse. There were a lot of people who knew what had happened to him, and it only made the panic worse. They stopped at an examination room. This was going to get worse before it got better.  
“I’ll need one of you boys to come in with me.” Dean stepped up. He’d go first so he could tell Sammy it wasn’t that bad; give him some sort of comfort. She shut the door leaving Dean alone with this stranger that was about to see him naked.  
Dean walked out breathing fast. He’d had a panic attack and Cas could tell; not just by Dean’s breath but by the look of sympathy on the nurse’s face. Sam stepped into the room and Cas pulled Dean into a hug. All the hugs in the world couldn’t make this better, but they do help. Sam was finished much faster then Dean and they were taken to a private waiting room, where Ms. Novak was waiting for them. She gave each of her boys a hug. Everyone sat down as a woman in a pant suit entered and closed the door behind her.  
“Hello, I’m Carrol.” She introduced herself sitting down on the couch across the room.  
“I’m Michelle Novak, this is Dean and Sam; and these are my sons, Castiel and Gabriel.” Carrol nodded.  
“What’s your relationship with Sam and Dean?”  
“I’m a teacher at their school. They were with my boys during the assault by there father today.”  
“I see. I’m so very sorry you two had to go through that.” She sounded sincere.  
“Thank you.” Sam’s voice was low.  
“I’d like to take temporary custody of the boys and discuss the possibilities for their future placement.” Ms. Novak stood.  
“That can be arranged. For now, I need to talk to each of the boys alone.” Sam was practically in Gabe’s lap. He was getting worse. Dean remembered what Cas had told him about getting something you don’t want to do over with, so you didn’t have to think about it.  
“Sam would you like to get it over with, so you can relax afterwards?” Dean suggested. Sam gave a tiny nod and stood. Cas smiled at Dean, as Carrol lead Sam into another room.  
“What did you mean by ‘possibilities for their future placement‘.” Dean asked.  
“I’m going to make sure you stay with your brother, come Hell or high water. I’m going to try and get full custody of the both of you. You both mean a lot to my boys and I wouldn’t feel right about you being taken away from this life. As I understand it, you’ve been uprooted quite a bit. I want you to be able to finish school here, and try to give you a better chance to succeed.”  
It was over about two hours when the door finally opened. Sam’s eyes were puffy, his nose raw from tissues probably. He sat next to Gabe and closed his eyes.  
It was Dean’s turn. He got up slowly, taking a long breath and marched into the room. There was a long table set up and a camera pointed at one of the chairs. He sat down in front of it.  
“I’m going to need you to talk to me about your life. Start about when the abuse began. If you need a break just let me know.” She switched the camera on. Dean began telling her all the horrible things that he’d had done to him. He wanted to get this over with but ended up taking several breaks. When it was finally over he was escorted out to find Sam asleep alone on the couch. Cas was gone too.  
“Gabriel told me about hitting his head and a nurse took him for an examination and to give a statement. Cas is with an office giving his statement too.” Dean sat in the chair next to her.  
“Ms. Novak, do you mind stepping away to talk for a minute?”  
“Are you going to be ok?” She looked at Dean who nodded. Ms. Novak got up and followed Carrol into the room, but this time left the door open; not that it mattered. He couldn’t hear them, and he knew what they were discussing. Sam had the right idea taking a nap. He could pretend that today hadn’t happened and just enjoy a soothing dream. Dean wished he was tired.  
Cas returned first and sat down by Dean. They shared a look and neither of them spoke. Cas took Dean’s hand and held it. If ever there was a time to ask Cas how he felt about him this was it.  
“Cas, What does this mean?” He gestured toward their hands.  
“It means I’m trying to comfort you.” This was going to be difficult, because why would anything be easy today?  
“You’ve been doing things; very small things. I’m not sure what they mean. They could be things that best friends do, but they could also be things couples do. I’m asking if you like me, Castiel.” Dean held his breath waiting for his answer.


	12. A First Kiss

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I know I was a dick last chapter with the cliffhanger, but here’s the next one; filled with fluff!

“Yes, I really like you. I wasn’t sure you noticed, but it didn’t bother me after my first few attempts to get close to you. You didn’t reject the attention, and you had said you were questioning your sexuality. I kind of figured that if you noticed you’d tell me and we’d go from there.” Dean was silent as he listened. Ms. Novak and Carrol exited the small interview room.  
“I’m going to finish the paperwork and then we can all go home.” She smiled as they left. Dean looked back at Cas.  
“You never did say if you liked me back, I’d kind of like to know if I should be embarrassed or elated, please.” His cheeks were lobster red. Dean smiled; he leaned in and let his lips hover of Cas’. They could feel the others warm breath on their cheeks. Both slightly scared to close the gap. Both boys had their eyes open green gems staring at blue oceans. The handle of the door turned making a soft click.  
They both jumped back as Sam and Gabriel joined them.  
“Whatcha been you to fellas?” Gabe asked his voice somewhat different.  
“They gave him something for his head, maybe a little too much something.” Sam had his boyfriend by the arm.  
“Just talking.” Cas replied smoothly. At that point Carrol and Ms. Novak came back.  
“Who’s ready to go home?” Ms. Novak smiled.  
Everyone was exhausted when they finally got home. Gabe went over to the fridge and started looking for snacks.  
“I was thinking of ordering pizza.” She closed the fridge door as he was reaching for a half eaten chocolate bar. There was a round of affirmations from everyone.  
“How does a movie night sound; pizza, movies, relaxing, and putting this day behind us. I also spoke to an officer who said that tomorrow you can go get your things, but for now it’s still a crime scene.”  
“Really?” Sam asked. He had sat down at the table, Gabe had joined him once he was denied his chocolate.  
“Yes, an assault took place there; what your father did, it’s a crime. They also haven’t found your father, so I assume that they are searching for clues as to where he’d go. For tonight, I’m sure the boys won’t mind lending you some comfy clothes to sleep in.”  
“Nope! Not at all.” Gabe jumped up, flashed Sam a sly smile, and dashed to his room. Everyone looked at each other trying to see if they knew what exactly just happened. He came flying back out holding green gym shorts and a pale blue T-shirt. He held the shirt up. In the middle of the shirt was a large moose.  
Sam’s mouth opened slightly in a ‘did this really just happened way’.  
“Sam and I have a running joke, I call him a Moose because he’s so big. I actually ordered this online and was planning on giving it to you. It was the best moose I could find, for my moose.” He turned to Sam as he finished speaking. Cas saw a smile grow on his mother’s face.  
“Alright, well I’ll call the pizza place, head to a redbox to pick up a movie, grab the pizza and be back soon. While I’m gone why don’t you set the blowup mattresses in each room? Gabe, you and Sam can sleep in the same room, not the same bed. I know I can trust you to make good choices.” She shouted the last bit as she headed out the door.  
“Well that wasn’t awkward at all.” Dean said after a moment of silence. Both boyfriends were still blushing, and secretly celebrating. Sam grabbed Gabe by the hand and pulled him down the hallway, leaving Cas and Dean alone in the kitchen.  
“If you’d like to get cleaned up, I’ll set up our room.” Dean likes the sound of that; our room.  
“Actually a shower sounds great.” Cas smiled and showed him to the bathroom.  
Dean came out of the bathroom to find a twin size air mattress neatly set up next Cas’ bed. The yellow beanbag chairs tossed in the closet. He had borrowed a red T-shirt and gray sweatpants from Cas. He could see Gabe and his little brother sitting on the bed in Gabe’s room. Sam had his boyfriend’s legs up over his own and they were both laughing. Cas noticed him in the doorway.  
“This look ok?”  
“Perfect.” He walked up to Cas and left only inches between their chests.  
“I’d really like to try this again.” Dean leaned in for their second attempt at their first kiss. He reached his hand around and rested it on the back of his crush’s neck. He took a step closer, there chests bumped and dean’s lips hovered over Cas’.  
“Oh, ummm, we’ll just be going now.” Dean whipped around to see the younger brothers run away. Cas groaned. Dean leaned in and placed a small peck on Cas’ cheek.  
“Later?” Dean smiled.  
“Absolutely.” Cas took Dean by the hand and joined their brothers in the living room. Gabe had his wallet out, and Sam had a dollar in his palm.  
“So how long have you to been together?” Gabe asked. Cas looked to Dean.  
“Now?” Cas asked.  
“Now.” Dean replied. Gabe slid the money out of his boyfriend’s hand.  
“Thank you! But I’ll take a kiss instead of a dollar.” Sam bent over and placed a gentle but firm kiss on his lips.  
“Seriously? You guys were betting on us?” Cas took Dean’s hand; butterflies gathered in Dean’s stomach. He lead him to the loveseat to the left of the couch. Dean sat next to Cas who wrapped his arm around him. The van door could be heard closing out side and Gabe and Cas went to help their mom.  
“Two pepperoni, two cheese, and Jurassic World.”  
Gabe and Sam put a blanket down on the floor to cuddle after they had eaten. Dean and Cas held hands on the loveseat. Cas saw his mom watching them as he and Dean ate pizza with their free hands so they didn’t have to let go. He had to use his left hand, and he was quite clumsy at first. Dean was watching him out of the corner of his eye, wondering how he found this adorable goofball.  
“So, here’s the million dollar question. How do we feel about school tomorrow?” Ms. Novak stood as the credits played. The room was silent for a moment.  
“Well, I suggested a mental health day, for everyone; and this is a freebie. I’m going to go lay down, but I’d like everyone to be in bed by 10:30.” She took everyone’s plate and left them by the sink, before heading down the hall.  
“What’s a mental health day?” Sam inquired.  
“We have a thing, and it’s reallt cool. Say you’re really stressed and overwhelmed, you can take a day off. No questions asked. We get four a school year, one for each semester. Unless you use two in one.” Gabe explained.  
“A lot of people say school is the most important thing; but what good will school do, if you can’t function properly.” Cas added.  
“That actually makes a lot of since.” Sam squeezed Gabe’s hand.  
After a few hours of talking and tv in the background 10:30 rolled around. The couples said good night and retired to their rooms.  
Cas closed the door behind them. Dean was directly behind him as he turned around. Before he even realized what was going on Dean’s lips were on his. Cas gently opened Dean’s mouth with his tongue. He tasted sweet with just a dash of pepperoni. Dean ran his fingers through dark, soft hair, pulling lightly. Cas’ hands traveled from Dean’s shoulders to his waist; pulling them as close to each other as possible. The kiss went from soft to heavy as they started grabbing each other. Dean pulled away soon after panting, keeping his hands on Cas’ chest.  
“I think that was a very nice first kiss.” He said still trying to catch his breath. Cas nodded and flicked off the lights. After they each got comfortable Cas held his hand down and Dean grabbed it.  
“So are we going to sleep holding hands?” Dean chuckled.  
“I won’t let go if you won’t.”  
“Deal.” Dean smiled.


	13. Whipped Cream and Soccer Balls

Dean woke up in a cold sweat, Cas’ hands wrapped tightly around his biceps. Dean stopped trying to punch him away.  
“It’s a dream, Dean.” He wasn’t shouting but it felt like the loudest thing Dean had ever heard. He shook his head hard, trying to remember where he was. 

Cas’ house.

Cas’ room.

Cas’ arms.

Safe. 

It took a moment to realize this and as soon as the pieces fell into place he wrapped his arms tightly around Cas, who was starting to tear up. Cas’ bear hug swallowed Dean whole, and he felt safe. They stayed like that was for what seemed like hours. 

“What were you dreaming about?” Cas asked. 

“I was alone. Everyone was dead around me; and I killed them.” He started sobbing. Cas held Dean tighter and shifted positions so he held him on his lap, legs to the side. 

“It was just a dream, Dean; and now it’s over. You wouldn’t hurt anyone.” Cas started to hum. Dean recognized the tune, and started to sing along. 

“You are my sunshine, my only sunshine.” Cas began to gently sway back and forth, back and forth, as they sang together softly. Dean was asleep again soon thereafter. 

Dean stretched his limbs out as he opened his eyes. The first thing he saw was Cas’ face peeking off the side of the bed; eyes focused and a smile set in place. 

“You’re watching me sleep?” Dean yawned. 

“Maybe just a little.” He climbed out of his bed and into Dean’s dragging his heavy blanket with him. They snuggled into each other, fully engulfed in the darkness. 

“Do you remember waking up last night.” He could feel Cas’ warm breath on his cheek. 

“Yes, but it’s really fuzzy.” He tried to pull him closer. 

“Do you have nightmares often?”

“Define often?” Before Cas could answer a loud metallic bang sounded in the kitchen. Both jumped up running to the kitchen. Dean immediately broke out in hysterical laughter, upon seeing the scene. Gabe was standing on a chair, pot lid in his left hand acting as a shield, a spatula in his right. There was a large soup pot on his head. Sam had a shield of his own, only he was wielding a whisk. His pot helmet sat at his feet. Both soldiers froze seeing their brothers. Cas tried to keep a straight face, but quickly collapsed into laughter. Gabe got down, and Dean noticed the amazing smell coming from the stove. 

“What is that?” 

“Gabe made chocolate chip pancakes and homemade caramel sauce.” Dean was drooling by the time Sam said pancakes. Cas handed Dean a plate, and everyone helped themselves before sitting at the table. Dean took note of the time, 10:30. Gabe had gotten whipped cream out, because there wasn’t enough sugar already at this table. He started squirted it on his plate, but quickly turned it on Sam; covering his nose. 

“Gabe! Seriously?” Sam grunted. 

“Yes, seriously.” He licked it off. Sam blushed. Cas grabbed the can and Dean scooted his chair away. 

“Don’t you dare!” Cas pretend to be insulted. 

“You think I would stoop to Gabe’s tricks?” Dean rolled his eyes. Cas put a dollop on his plate and stood to put the can away. Dean didn’t notice the chocolate syrup Cas had pulled out until it was too late. He was very precise, getting a few drops on Dean’s cheek. 

“You did not-“ Dean didn’t finish his sentence because Cas had leaned over his cheek and across him mouth to clean up the sweet goo. Gabe and Sam both chuckled. 

“So, is this what you do on mental health day?” Dean tried to wipe the remaining sticky from his cheek. 

“Pretty much.” Gabe answered, mouth full. The rest of the morning was spent at the table. Gabe had brought out the board game Sorry; which happened to be Cas’ favorite. After almost winning the first round, Cas’ game piece was sent back to start by Sam. Gabe jumped up pulling Sam with him for a victory dance. 

“You’re assbutts! The both or you!” Cas shouted playfully. Ms. Novak called around lunch to ask if Cas was still going to play in the game tonight. He quickly told her yes and the Gabe proceed to brag about Cas’ skills until the phone call was over. 

The boys messed around doing everything from video games to Beanboozled; which was Gabe’s idea. They left at five and Cas ran off to join the team for warm ups. Ms. Novak went to get snacks as the rest of the boys found a few seats high up with a good view. The game started at seven and Dean cheered loudly every time Cas has the ball. 

The game was tied and the referee was about to call the match, when Cas stole the ball mid-pass from the other team. He was blocked from any good passes. He started sprinting towards the goal keeping the ball away from anyone who got close. With one swift kick he sent the ball flying up to the top corner of the net. The crowd went wild. 

“THAT’S MY BOYFRIEND!” Dean could be heard over the crowd. He jumped up and pointed and then cheered some more. The game was called and the Mighty Mustangs lined up to shake hands with the other team. It wasn’t long before Cas rejoined the group. Dean ran up to him and threw his arms around his neck. Ms. Novak patted her son on the back before being pulled away by another teacher. Gabe whispered something to Sam; then they both ran way, hand in hand. Dean let go of Cas who smelled of pine and mint; mostly likely from the soap in the gym shower. 

“So, I’m your boyfriend now am I?” Cas had a large grin on his face which scrunched his eyes making him even more adorable; or so Dean thought. 

“I umm-“ Dean stuttered. 

“Do you want to be my boyfriend?” Cas leaned in. 

“Yes.”

“Then you’re my boyfriend.” He placed a peck on Dean’s lips, which was much too short. Ms. Novak returned finding the boy’s hand in hand. 

“Let’s go find the other lovebirds, it’s late and you’ve got school tomorrow.”


End file.
